The Happy Dad Journal

I listen to Nick Cave. A lot. Maybe too much (if that's possible). He's not everyone's cup of tea, but his movie "20,000 Days on Earth" is a very watchable film about mortality and what we do with our lives. The end scene is a lesson for us all! Watch and learn...

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"All of our days are numbered. We can not afford to be idle.
To act on a bad idea is better than to not act at all,
because the worth of the idea never becomes apparent until you do it.
Sometimes this idea can be the smallest thing in the world;
a little flame that you hunch over and cup with your hand and pray will not be extinguished by all the storm that howls about it.
If you can hold on to that flame, great things can be constructed around it;
things that are massive and powerful and world changing.
All held up by the tiniest of ideas.

In the end I'm not interested in that which I fully understand.
The words I have written over the years are just a veneer.
There are truths that lie just below the surface of the words...
...truths that rise up without warning, like the humps of a sea monster.
And then disappear.

What performance and song is to me is finding a way to tempt the monster to the surface.
To create a space where the creature can break through what is real and what is known to us.
This shimmering space, where imagination and reality intersect this is where all love and tears and joy exist.

This is the place.
This is where we live."

NICK CAVE, 20,000 DAYS ON EARTH

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This closing monologue is a profound meditation on creativity, existence, and the importance of action.

Here are 6 key lessons dads can glean from it:

1. Embrace Action Over Idleness:
   • "All of our days are numbered. We can not afford to be idle."
   • Time is finite. Dads can learn to prioritize action and engagement, rather than procrastination or passivity, in their roles as fathers and individuals.
   • This means actively participating in their children's lives and pursuing their own passions.  
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2. Value Imperfect Action:
   • "To act on a bad idea is better than to not act at all."
   • Dads can learn to overcome the fear of failure and embrace the value of taking action, even if it seems imperfect.
   • This encourages experimentation, learning, and growth in parenting and personal endeavors.  
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3. Nurture Small Ideas:
   • "Sometimes this idea can be the smallest thing in the world; a little flame that you hunch over and cup with your hand..."
   • Dads can learn to recognize and nurture the small moments of connection, creativity, or inspiration in their families.
   • These seemingly insignificant moments can form the foundation for strong relationships and meaningful experiences.
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4. Seek Deeper Truths:
   • "There are truths that lie just below the surface of the words...truths that rise up without warning, like the humps of a sea monster."
   • Dads can learn to look beyond surface-level interactions and seek deeper emotional connections with their children and partners.
   • This involves active listening, empathy, and a willingness to explore complex emotions.  
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5. Create Space for Imagination and Emotion:
   • "This shimmering space, where imagination and reality intersect this is where all love and tears and joy exist."
   • Dads can learn to foster a space where imagination, creativity, and emotional expression are valued within their families.
   • This encourages open communication, emotional intelligence, and a rich, fulfilling family life.
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6. Live in the Present Moment:
   • "This is the place. This is where we live."
   • Nick Cave emphasises being present in the moment. Dads can learn to fully engage with their families and experiences, appreciating the present rather than dwelling on the past or future.
   • This promotes mindfulness and a deeper appreciation for the present moment.

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